Leadership Training: Determine Your Outstanding Life Story by Mastering EQ!

*Note: All Our Courses are HRDF / HRD Corp Claimable!

𝐷𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠, 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑟𝑦 😡? At first, this sounds like a silly question, so, let's talk about 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. Make sure you read till the end (and share), it's important.

To many, emotional intelligence ("EI") is the ability to understand others and generate positive interactions with them. Yes, but EI is also so much more!

Back to the question: Do you know it when you're angry (during arguments)?
Well... here's a follow up question to blow your mind. Ready?
If you 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 know when you're angry in an argument... 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈?

The reality is, most people 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 anger, but the concious part of the mind does not register the fact that they ARE angry. If you're like me, up to 8 minutes can go past before I finally register the fact that:

"𝑊𝑜𝑎ℎ 𝐾𝑒𝑎𝑛, 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝐿𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑚 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒 ☺ 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛."

Now, can you imagine all the unhelpful and hurtful things I've said during those 8 minutes? This is why self-awareness and EI is so critical in leadership, communication and stakeholder management.

Sometimes, after a fierce conversation, we come to regret the things we've said in the heat of the moment,

"I was too harsh, she did not deserve that."

Sometimes, we cope by justifying ("She was unprofessional too"). Other times, we start to punish ourselves,

"I'm an angry and bad person. I can't control my temper"

Sound familiar? No, you are not a bad person. You're just a person who's GROWING. We're all human. We get emotional. The fact that we realize we're angry is the important first step.

So, if you sometimes despise yourself, if you ever find yourself doubting your goodness as a person, here's a saying to give you immeasurable comfort. Always remember:

"Your first thought is what you have been conditioned to think. Your 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 is who you 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞."

Understand this - our initial reactions in the heat of the moment are learnt behaviors, from our parents, teachers, during our childhood. Perhaps our parents criticized us a bit too much when we were younger. Perhaps our teachers taught us that 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 is the correct response to anger.

But we're adults now and we ALWAYS have a choice. So, be mindful and MAKE THINGS RIGHT. Respond professionally, apologize if you have to. And remember that the 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 is infinitely kind, compassionate, and loving.

In the heat of the moment, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 your first thought. But, your second thought - now, that truly reflects your true character.

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Emotional Intelligence is a core subject in each of me and UpSkillingMinds Sdn Bhd's soft-skill corporate workshops. Let's talk more about building a loving and understanding work culture in your organization!

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