Eaten Up by Guilt

"I lost control. I was so angry, I threw my slipper at my daughter. It... it hit her groin. I feel so guilty."

"Am I a bad person? I want to change, Teacher Kean."

** Why do clients always ask me this! No, you're not a bad person. Bad people don't think of changing and improving.

A story, to help:

** I wake up early to send my kid to school. A problem: I'm NOT a morning person.

To my amusement, I've realised that NASTY thoughts and bad memories come easily in the morning - my mind is undisciplined when it's sleepy and tired.

So, because I love myself, I do not think AT ALL when I'm groggy in the morning.

** The truth is, no one loses control out of nowhere. Usually, we are already in a nasty mood even before our kids trigger us.

The key here is listening closely to our emotions - at any moment, am I happy, or am I frustrated and tired?

Once you're aware that you're negative, limit interacting with others until you've had the chance to reset.

When interaction is unavoidable, being mindful of how you feel helps slow you down, so you don't act in a way you may regret later.

Yes, this works in the office and in relationships, too.

No, I'm not concerned to label anyone as "good" or "bad".

But, I am very interested to help you move up from here.