Turn confrontational conversations into constructive dialogues with this powerful 'Circle of Focus' technique.
During a Communication Training session with one of Malaysia's leading insurers, we delved into the art of active listening, particularly in situations where personal attacks are launched.
To achieve excellence in our lives, we must respond to difficult situations in an exceptional way. And when it comes to conversations where staying calm and professional is crucial, a technique I often employ is "the Circle of Focus". This involves visualizing an imaginary circle around yourself.
What's key is being aware of where your focus lies. If it's WITHIN the circle (closer to you), you might entertain thoughts like:
🔹 "I can't wait for this person to stop talking so I can give them a piece of my mind."
🔹 "I'm so hurt, how can they talk to ME like this?"
But the goal is to shift your focus towards the other person's experience. This transition cultivates thoughts such as:
🔹 "This person is really having a bad time. How can I show them I'm an ally?"
🔹 "I'll play a game where I focus on and memorize key words they're saying, so I can Parrot-Phrase them later."
By training ourselves to be more emotionally disciplined, we learn the invaluable skills needed to de-escalate any situation. Remember, there's always time to make our case and express our feelings later, once emotions are more regulated.
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