"𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗪𝗲 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗨𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗿𝘆"
How do we teach a child this concept? What's the best way for them to learn that we are in charge of the way we feel?
Even as adults, we struggle to practice this. So when our kids scream, "HE STARTED IT! It's not my faaaauuuulllttttt!!!", how can we guide them?
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟬 𝗶𝘀 𝗔𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗚𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗺
Let's not leave them to "cry it out" or say "It's a small deal, stop crying." We can do more, like deep breathing, distracting them, and teaching them to appreciate the things that went right! With practice, they'll grow to be resilient and grateful.
After they're a bit steadier, invite them to talk about their feelings and be a great listener.
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟮 𝗶𝘀 𝗗𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗱 𝗗𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘃𝘀 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗳𝘆
This is my favorite technique! Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Ask your Child, "When the trio get into trouble, how do each of them respond?"
Do you want to be with someone like 𝗗𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗱, lashing out at everyone, or would you rather be with someone like 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗳𝘆, optimistic and relaxed?
Explain they each deal with bad news differently, and it's our choice to view setbacks as catastrophes, or as growing opportunities. Praise them, not for results, but for standing up again!
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟯 𝗶𝘀 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀
Do emphasize that their feelings are valid and that WE get angry too. The question is, how long? When we accept that being angry is a CHOICE, we have the wonderful freedom of moving on instead of punishing ourselves.
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟰 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗥𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹
Ultimately, if we're always blaming others for how we feel, then our Children will learn the same.
If we can smile, and search for opportunities in the face of adversity, can you imagine how strong and loving our Children will be!
